i hate feeling like this forreal.

i hate feeling the way i do...ima explain it later..So far my weekend started out shitty..why? well remember i told you i ended up spending the night over my friends house because i didnt feel like driving home? well i should of (kinda) i woke up that next morning and i noticed my damn left foot was hurting and itching alil (my socks were clean negros before yall start thinking) so you know i brushed it off and kept it moving. i mad to make a trip to the bank to get some money out for two reasons:

1. pay friend for fixing my ride
2. money for my jordans

So after i did that i headed back to my friends house to take them to there cousins house which i didnt mind because it was on the way...So after i did that i kept trying to get in touch with my elementry friend but she was so damn busy (again) we never got to meet up. So then one of my friends called me up...now 9 times outtta 10 she is all of sudden calling me because i have a car ( which i hate that shit...it shows how fake you are in the end) then at the same time calling me asking me where i am at (ooooooooooooooooo i hate that shit. you aint my girl so i dont think thats none of your business) So this is where i get all pissed off...how the fuck you gonna just volenteer my services to just take you somewhere? there was no questions asked it was "yea i need to get to this place so i can get these clothes for my child" i am like how the hell you getting up there? THEN she proceeds to ask...then on top of that how the fuck you expect me to take you somewhere when you aint offering gas money? (now mind you folks...i dont ask for gas money unless i really need it. i am a helping person and all but dammit i had when i feel like i am being used...) so when i pulls up and she aint even ready...i mean how you gonna ask me to take you somewhere and when i pull up you not even ready? now mind you i had to be at work at 8 so i was tryin to get alot of shit done which was:

1. pay my friend for fixing my car
2. catch up with my childhood friend so i can fix her laptop
3. eat
4. have some chill time to myself before i goto work.

So she comes outside and she is all dressed...but her son was not?! i mean how is it that you can look good but you got your child out here with just a damn diper on? i know it was alil sunny outside but dammit if you gonna look decent make sure your damn seed is as well..

So i takes her to where she has to go. on the way back i am driving and the radio started to play some k. cole song...i turned the channel quick. the girl had the nerve to look at me with the mad look...i look at her like.."what?" she gonna tell me and i qoute her said "there is no in between with you" i am like whats that supposed to mean? she goes and says that "its either your happy or your just angry" i looked at her and i was honestly was about to stop the damn car and put her out. for one if you riding shotgun in someones car you dont have a say so on whats goes on...your job is to sit back and shut the fuck up maybe crack a few jokes until we get to your proper place lol. and did i mention you dont touch the radio....dammit everybody should know this!!!!

So after i dropped her off she states she is gonna give me 38 bucks on the 24th...watch my ass be at her doorstep acting like rick ross "where my money?" so i goes in her house and i am just sitting there...i didnt wanna get back in my car because i just didnt feel like wasting gas. so i guess she was trying to be nice and ask me did i want her to cook me something...HELL NO. for one i dont eat anybodys cooking. so i am just sitting there while she is doing her...reason why i was there is to stay in the area my childhood friend is so when she text me i can just jump in my car and dip out! however that never happened...so then i guess she was trying to put her kid to sleep...fooor what? i hope she think she trying to fuck? because that suuuuuuuure aint happening. why? i am gonna explain that down the road...So i guess after a hour pass and her son would not goto sleep i decided to dip...she wanted me to stay for what reason i dont know...( like eminem said " i gotta go bitch you know i stuff to do..")

So after i left there i proceed to goto the auto store to pick up some stuff like:
1. transmission fluid
2. power steering fluid

after i left there i made my way over to my old hood...brightmo (proper saying "brightmoore" lol)..now when i stayed in the hood of my it was pretty ruff when i grew up there..but dammit i wish i had my cam corder otherwise i would show you whats it like now...man houses there were good houses were....no houses....alot of burnt up houses...hell one of my friends house got cock tailed...and i saw my old house...i got alil depress seein my old house like that..windows all busted..the house looked like the trap forreal...i post the videos when i go thru there again...

So as i made my way thru my hood i went over my friends house to see what was up. i gets over there and i saw that no car was there...ok maybe his parents was gone...so as i starts to knock on the door some old dum white lady from across the street came outside asking me why am i there? and i told her in the nice way i am looking for my friend. she replies nasty saying " you know you aint supposed to be there.." i asked her "do they still stay here?" she replies "i am the watcher of that house and if you dont leave i am calling the police." i told her to just tell me if they still stay there...that white lady went in the house i jumped off that porch so fast hopped in my whip and burned rubber on her so fast it was not funny..(for those who do not know...the police WILL show up quickly if a white person calls in that hood)


So after that i got hungry i got me some mickey D's my friend called me up tell me where he was at so i can drop his money off to him...and what do u know...he was in BRIGHTMO! lmao i just left that hood...i am thinking to myself in gta wise damn i got two stars i aint tryin to be hot ya know? so i took side streets to where he was at. after i dropped his money off i went and got my haircut (as you can see in the pic above) after that i said fuck it aint nothing else to do so i got me something to eat and then proceeded to work...

Saturday comes...yay! i got my jordans! and they was ridin shotgun with me:



hell yea...my size sells out pretty quick so my black ass gotta get there pretty early...So after that i was gonna go over my friend E house to pick up the rest of my shoes i have there lol but he was knocked out so i said fuck it and dipped to the crib. however remember my dad tags on his plate expire so i ended up having to take the long way home..(those of you that are from the d know...) i had to take the lodge to I-75 and then i-75 to m-59 east and then to the crib...i ended up getting there pretty quick but it did feel long considering the fact i listend to the whole n.e.r.d album and the whole weezy album.

So i gets there and i put my shoes in the closet...and what do u know..my damn foot started itching again...i would take a pic of it but i aint...from what moms told me i was biten by a spider...i have a big goofy ass scab in the middle of my foot (sole) with alot of little bumps...that lil or big fucker got me good...but like rick james said "i got the remedy for that" lmao. i put some cream on that and iced it down and its slowly going away...hopefully i shall be spiderman soon and save the day and get my black version of mary jane lol.

so since i had all this free time on my hands (due to my moms getting a new car) i ended up cleaning my room. so things for today were:

1. goto my friends child birthday party

So i just chilled at home and cleaned my room...my mom got a new book rack and she gave me her old one...and what did i do with it? look...lol:



So looks like i got even MORE room for shoes for the rest of the summer :D...so after i did that i tried to clean the room up but failed due to me being tired...(maybe the spidey sense kickin in) so i was knocked out. i woke up hours later and i worked on part of a video i was supposed to make awhile ago...my mom got her car and her job gave her the whole day off...So after hours passed i got dress so she could take me up to jeepers to i can visit.

man what do u know...my mom ends up losing her keys!!!! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan we spent well they..i was knocked out in the car for a while before i started looking lol...she ended up finding them but that took a big goofy chunk out of the time frame i was working with..i at least wanted to chill up there for at least 30 minutes and then dip to work. but i was only there for a hot ass ten minutes...when i got there i was looking for my friend...since i was really late i am thinking (fuck they gone noooooooooooo!) but out of the blue i see the biggest perfect smile look up from the corner see me (i dont know how she spotted me) but i met her and i gave her a hug...(now mind you...i know her from sneakerplay...she is cool beans so this is like me seeing her in person for the first time i talked to her on the phone alot but she does tat's so she is a busy woman and thats a good thing..she makin her doe) so i gives her the birthday card dam man i aint gonna lie..here i am at this party i just couldnt stop lookin at her...i'm like damn...let me kick myself in shen real quick...after i came back to square one she lets me see her daughter...like most children when they first meet a new face they will give you that look...(EVERYBODY knows that look..that looks sayin "who are you? you are funny looking look lol) so i chatted with her here and there before i left. as i was walking i am still amazedon how fine that girl was IN PERSON damn her pics...in person in HD is better lmao.

So after we left there my mom dropped my sister off at her bestfriends house...i ended up getting a plate and headed to work..So here i am thinking...alot..i finally met her (long over do i was supposed to goto her birthday party but i had to work) and i am overthinking this but should i attempt to talk to her on "that" level? we damn near like the same things:

1. she likes to make money
2. she has her mind on str8
3. she is a sneaker girl (and thats a plus for me :D )
4. she likes videogames

Thats just some i can think of on the top of my head...now alot of people who knows me gonna say..what about the kid D? Well i were to attempt to get on i wont just be talking to her...i would have to accept that. which i am willing. because for 1..she aint like my ex who had the twins..and 2. sneakerhead girl (yup thats what i'm calling her on here) is I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T do u know what that means?

i hate feeling like i am thinking to hard on somebody i like...it sucks..because then if i dont do anything i could of had a chance...i hate when i like somebody i have that certain feeling in me...its like my whole swag changes or some shit..not that its a bad thing but however its just different.

I figure i would type this here rather than facebook...because the cat will be out the bag then..however some people do read this and i know that the message will get to her lol..

ok back to work i go...even though i aint doing nothing. peace.

***mobile***

so yesterday I got my car ..and now I am driving!!!! hell yeah I only have to get two more major parts fixed and I am all set. but yesterday was cool..since I was all by myself id figure fuck it...ima goto the movies...shit I have not been since ind. jones watched me lol..so I went and saw the hulk..man that movie was on point. so after I saw that movie my friend who came back from florida was back I figure id swing thru to see what's up..I chilled with them and had a couple drinks sbut when I sobered up I took my friends home...and they gave me gas money!!!! sweeeeeet.

so today looks like I gotta goto work...and today is my dads bday..only thing is his tags on his plate expire...so I only can drive this day then the car will be chilling until I get the proper paper work...

peace...

Man i wanna drive now!!!

well since I am too lazy and tired to get on my pc I am doing this from my mobile...for those who don't know I finally got my car...well van that is...my dad gave it to me and he only told me four things that it needed and that was:

1. tune up
2. a new window on the driver side
3. a new muffler
4. and a new ignition

so im thinking bet I can get this shit fixed because I saved up a lot of money..so my next off day came and I went over my dads house to get my car out of the backyard..now mind u I needed to get the ignition fixed and lucky me by being patience my coworker fam is a locksmith so I waited for him to come thru...when he came thru I would say he was there 10 minutes tops...came there poped the broken key that my sister broke out and he got me a brand new ignition as well....I ended up paying him 65 for that...not bad if u ask me...shit at the shop I was coming out of 200 tops so I lucked up with that one...

so I was waiting for my sister to come over so I could my arrans (for my car) and when she came thru we went to autozone to get a starter kit...but then we ended up back there returning it because I needed the battery charged..so we went back to my dads house and got the battery...gets back to autozone and they told me to come back in a hour...I comes back in a hour and these fuckheads told me it was dead...I mean what the fuck? u had me waste a hour just to tell me my battery is dead? some bullshit if u ask me but whatever...

so my sister ended up telling me she has a spare battery at her house..we headed over there to get it...after we get the battery we went back to my dads house to see if it will start...nope..no luck...so we took that battery to autozone to get it charged but they ended up telling me that battery was dead as well so I ended up buyin a new one...

we get the new and improved battery to my dads house so I can get started...I poped the battery in and jumped in my ride to start it....I swear man the dam car scared the fuck outta me...that bitch sounded like the fucking boggey man himself (you would have to hear me do the sound effect) but the the bitch shut off...I gave it gas and it till won't crank..I ended up flooding the engine...I gave up that day and called it a night...I called the autoshop and told them I wanted my car towed there so I could get it fixed.

I wakes up at my sisters house and I dipped to my dads house early as fuck. I get there and what do u know...that bitch started!!!!! only for like 6 seconds lol...I backed it up alil and that's all the car would let me do...so I waited for the towing people in my car with the ac blowingand the radio playing..

about 2-3 hours I give the shop a call to see where they at...those fuckheads to me I was on a list...the fuck? fuck a list im trying to get this bitch fixed...so after I got off the phone with them my elementary friend tiff called and told me how much ass I suck because I didn't come thru...after me telling her what happened she forgave me she gave me a towing company number so I hit them up and they were there in a hour..

I got my car towed there and my mom dropped me off so I would know how much damage ima have to pay...they told me they will call me in a hour..so my mom dropped me off at the mall so I caught the bus to bball tryouts...

I ended up not making the basketball team...oh well...so after I elft there I ended up calling my ex gf who I am still cool with to shoot me up there so I can know my price...we gets up there and I ended up paying 330 for JUST:

1. muffer
2.window
3. new starter
4. new tire

so he told me to come back later so they could finish...45 minutes later they called me sayin I need a cadalac converter!!!! that was a extra 189 out my pocket....

so after watching the lakers blow a 24 point I was unable to get my car..because they was having issues getting my window fixed...so I got a ride to the busstop...moms picked me up and I went home and my ass was tired as fuck!! and this my off days!!! lol

so they told me to come back at 7am but I ended getting there @ 11 and they were having issues keeping it started...after they kept it started and was able to drive...however they found more problems they are:

1 .need a new flywhell
2. intake manifold
3. major tune up
4. sensors fixed

all that is gonna run me 700 :( ....so after I got my keys I was out joyriding..went and saw my grandmoms she was really happy to see me. after I left there I went to my aunt and uncle's house...we made a run to autozone to get some power steering fluid so I won't leak steering fluid ..after that I had to goto work..

yesterday I got off work I went to my boy e house..we went to his parents hosue and we helped them move there old frig out...after that e cousin that fixs car came thru...we left there to go look at my ride but we ate first...then after he told me what was wrong with it we went autozone so can get a flywheel.

so I watched him fix my shit...this cat moves quicker that wear master (the autoshop) he got the trans dropped so tomorrow he is gonna do the rest..which is:

1. finishing the flywhell installation
2. major tune up
3. torque converter

all that for 250....I just gotta buy the parts..so ima have him fixed my shit for now on...

so today is fathers day...hope yall daddys have a safe one!

Pushing myself to limits.

Man oh man i am tired as shit. although i am currently at work typing this up i am alil awake. Well i know i didnt update this blog in awhile (well i did with download links) but i am currently in the process of trying out for a coummunity college basketball team..yup.....i already started last week and man....to be honest...i need to hit the weight room lol..heres why...

Day 1 (thrusday)
Well after i sent the coach a email wanting to workout to try to get on the team i made my way up there and met with him...he's a cool guy...i guess because i am new so you know how that goes...i saw the real him in action when he was cussing out his regulars lol...and that shit was funny...but anywho.

i've noticed that i am like the second smallest guy there...it was guys there like from the height range from 6'1 - 6'8 the shortest was like 5'8"...and i am 5'10 lol..So i was already sore from the day before because i was hoopin at joe d ..so i was still recovering from that....

since i was the new guy i hardly got any touches...i just ran around like i was on fire lol ( for those who never seen me play i like to move off the ball like reggie and rip) but however i came off this sweet ass pick and scored...guys in there was surprised how quick i came off the pick with the quick release...other than that thats the only basket i scored lol

But i did well defense wise...they were doing there best to take advantage of me in the paint..the shit wore me down but i didnt give up...this one cat played me dirty knocking me down while i was attemping to box him out..we got tangled and...i was on the ground...i got pissed....after that...everytime they attempted to attack the paint on my side (considered the weak side) i was playing alil harder..blocking there shots..boxing out..shit this one cat was always dunkin on fast breaks i stripped his ass as he was gathering lol..

After we were done the coach pulled me to the side and told me to come back saturday he noticed i didnt get any touches and i didnt give up so at least i got noticed for something...

Day 2 (saturday)
Well since one of my lil sisters just graduated from highschool she was having alil get together at my bestfriends sister house...man they had 8 blunts in rotation:


Man they had my ass looking like a taliban because i had my face covered...i dont smoke weed...i like to drink ;) so all i had was a big goofy ass bottle of cranberry apple and some pinnicale and i was set for the night....now its friday night/saturday morining and my ass had to get up @ 11am for basketball!! man i already had my shit planned out....get drunk as hell and then eat some damn bread before i goto sleep (soaks up the liq) and wake up with no hangover...did it work? HELL YEAH IT DID LMAO..i woke up at 8am....eat like two big goofy ass hot dogg buns went up stairs took a dump and i was sooooooooooo sober....i jumped in the shower got dress and had my bestfriend sister (she is my sister too) dropp me off at school.

So i gets in there and it was only one dude in there!!! i am like what the hell? they might take this shit as serious but shit i do! lol...So i gets dress and i started shooting with that guy...another guy came in like 30 minutes later after me and he started shooting around with us but then he left because i guess he got bored...oh well...then both of them left and it was just me...this one cat came in and he started shooting with me asking me questions about what i wanna do (basketball wise) and giving me tips on how not to give up too easy sometimes.

so then after that the coach comes in..and he sees me there...i guess the some basketball players graduated and some of the other guys had a wild friday night like i did lmao! so i stayed up there til 3...i played two games of two on two basketball and had a couple of shootouts...i need to work on my stamia again...i am not as quick as i used to be...but i'm sure if i push myself i can do anything.

Adobe photoshop

http://www.mediafire.com/?xnbcrttl20z

Usher - Here I stand

1 Intro
2 Love In This Club featuring Young Jeezy
3 This Ain't Sex
4 Trading Places
5 Moving Mountains
6 What's Your Name featuring will.i.am
7 Prayer For You Interlude
8 Something Special
9 Love You Gently
10 Best Thing featuring Jay Z
11 Before I Met You
12 His Mistakes
13 Appetite
14 What's A Man To Do
15 Lifetime
16 Love In This Club Part II featuring Beyoncé & Lil Wayne
17 Here I Stand


d/l - http://www.mediafire.com/?xydt3vmcdl9
If you need winrar - http://www.download.com/WinRAR/3000-2250_4-10007677.html?tag=lst-1&cdlPid=10745708

hmm things just don't feel the same anymore...why? I honesty don't know...for some reason a nigga just feels left out. I make plans and they never fall thru...I wanna hang but everybody just some how aint got shit todo when I wanna have fun...but when a nigga gotta work oh yall partying now...I see how it is with people now days..I know who my real friends are and I can count that on both hands...

I feel used:
honesty I do...for damn near everything...I don't mind lending a helping hand when needed but shit u can only help people so much. I hate when people just only hit me up when they need help or when ladies call me with there man issues..honestly im sick of it...I aint dr phil so yall need to just fall back. when db needs help where are u people (the people that helped me knows what they did so they aint in this one) when I need to talk where yall at...yall treat me like I am the enemy or something...and dammit id had enough.

why do most people remember all my failures in life but don't wanna give me props when a nigga do good? the fuck is that? where's the love? I bounce back quick from all my failure and I still get hate...and this is from family members as well!!! every time I come to a family gathering they are quick to talk about all my fuck ups around everybody...but they never talk about how I turned all those negatives into positives...I hate that....

I aint done I typed this from my mobile

Cont.

Then people wonder why i dont really go near certain family members...they fake! i mean forreal...they will smile in your face but as soon as you leave that room or house...then its nothing but hate....fucked up aint it? yup so if (some family members) wonder why i dont call or attempt to hang out with you guys....you now know why...hate for it to be that way but..it is what it is...

Is it really bad to get your life somewhat together? i mean damn...like i stated in my last note when i was broke as a joke (still somewhat after shoes and payin tickets lol) yall would fuck with me...now i'm gettin alil cake yall dont wanna mess with me...i'm still me..i didnt change...aint nothing change but my mindset on how i see things..thats it. nothing else..is it wrong for me to get my life together? is it wrong that i decided to grow the fuck up and stop all the foolish games? i aint best person in the world but damn.

ima leave it with that. because the more i type the more pissed off ima get.