Getting Older Is Making Me Tired of Social Media

 

Lately, I’ve been realizing something I never thought I’d say:

I’m getting tired of social media.

And that’s interesting to me, because I actually love the internet.

I grew up loving message boards, forums, and online spaces where people could really talk. Somebody would post an opinion, people would debate it, joke around, disagree, troll a little, and keep it moving. Sometimes it got messy, sometimes it got personal, but a lot of it still felt like banter. It felt like people understood that not every disagreement was an attack.

That version of the internet made more sense to me.

What wears me out now is the social media side of it all. Everything feels performative. Everything feels personal. Everybody is reacting, defending, proving, announcing, exposing, and emotionally crashing out over every little thing. You cannot say much of anything anymore without somebody taking it as disrespect, hate, judgment, or some kind of personal offense.

And that is exhausting.

What bothers me most is how fragile people have become when it comes to criticism. A lot of people do not want honesty. They want validation. They do not want correction. They want comfort. They do not want to be challenged. They want to be agreed with.

That is a dangerous way to build people.

Somewhere along the line, we started confusing accountability with negativity. We started treating discomfort like harm. We started acting like being told you are wrong is some kind of attack on your existence instead of a normal part of growth.

That mindset is showing up everywhere.

You see it in relationships.
You see it in how people talk online.
You see it in the advice people give.
You see it in the way people encourage each other to use others, manipulate situations, dodge responsibility, and still call it empowerment.

And to me, that is one of the ugliest parts of what social media has become.

Too many people are being taught how to get over, not how to grow.
Too many people are being taught how to avoid consequences, not how to build character.
Too many people are being taught how to curate an image, not how to become solid human beings.

That is what worries me when I think about the next generation.

I think a lot of us came up in a harder environment, and because of that, we want to protect our kids from everything. I understand that instinct. But I also think overprotecting them can do damage too. If kids never struggle, never fail, never get corrected, never get uncomfortable, then how are they supposed to build toughness? How are they supposed to build discipline? How are they supposed to learn how to respond when life does not go their way?

Failure teaches.
Correction teaches.
Consequences teach.

Not everything is trauma.
Sometimes it is just life doing what life does.

That does not mean people should be cruel. It means we have to stop raising and rewarding people like the world owes them softness at all times.

And the internet is making that worse.

Information is constant now. Opinions are instant. Influence is everywhere. Good information is available, but bad information travels just as fast, sometimes faster. People can wake up, absorb nonsense all day, repeat it confidently by the afternoon, and get rewarded for it by night.

That should concern all of us.

Because if everything becomes about feelings, image, and instant validation, then what happens to discipline? What happens to humility? What happens to discernment? What happens to being able to hear something you do not like and still learn from it?

That is where I’m at with social media right now.

I’m not tired of connection.
I’m not tired of dialogue.
I’m not tired of the internet.

I’m tired of the performance.
I’m tired of the entitlement.
I’m tired of people treating basic honesty like violence.
And I’m tired of watching bad advice get dressed up like wisdom.

Maybe that is age.
Maybe that is growth.
Maybe I just miss when people were a little tougher and a little less fake.

Either way, that is where my head is at.

Have a good weekend.

And if life feels heavy, go pray about it.

Peace.

Still Moving

 Lately, I have been struggling.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a woe is me way. Just honestly struggling to balance everything that has been piling up at once.

I was supposed to have content out already for this upcoming event. I had the plans. I had the structure. But the motivation just has not been there. Part of that is because we got hit with some bad news recently, news I am not ready to talk about yet. On top of that, I am still recovering physically and mentally from being sick, and I am realizing now that recovery does not end just because your body starts functioning again.

That is the part that messes with your head.

When you are trying to change for the better. When you are putting systems in place. When you are actually doing the work and still feel like things are falling apart, it makes you start questioning yourself. I get these thoughts sometimes, and I am tired of them. Especially when, on paper, things are going well.

I recently had a long conversation with my mom about support, or the lack of it. About how transactional some relationships feel. About how that cuts deeper than people realize. Sometimes it feels like people did not expect me to get this far or did not take what I was building seriously until it was already standing. Maybe that is part of growth. Realizing that not everyone who knows you is equipped to support the version of you that is evolving.

As this business grows, I am learning that I have to be more aware. More forward thinking. I have to spot problems before they become problems. That realization hit hard recently and forced me to sit with some uncomfortable truths. One of the biggest lessons I am learning is that I cannot please everyone. Trying to do that only pulls me further away from myself.

I miss texts sometimes. I miss notifying people about things. Not out of disrespect, but because my focus is locked in on building something sustainable. This structure is still new to me. I did not wake up one day perfectly organized with everything balanced. I am learning as I go. With structure comes expectation. People notice when you miss something, and sometimes they hold it against you, even when there is no bad intent.

Right now, my morale is low. My confidence took a hit. A lot of it traces back to what happened while I was in Ethiopia.

I do not say this lightly. Getting sick over there changed me.

Physically, I am better. Mentally, it did something to me that I am still unpacking. It was terrifying. I genuinely felt like my life was at risk. If my fiancee and her mom had not acted as fast as they did, I do not know how things would have turned out. That experience shook me in ways I do not think people always understand or know how to respond to, so I do not try to explain it much anymore.

Despite that, I want to be clear. Ethiopia was beautiful. The people were kind. The hospitality was unmatched. That experience does not change how I feel about the place. It just marked a turning point for me personally.

Since then, I have noticed I am more on edge. More impatient with wasted time. More sensitive to setbacks. My sleep is still off. I wake up at odd hours. I am rebuilding routines that used to feel automatic. I am trying to give myself grace while still holding myself accountable.

Pivoting is part of growth. It is not failure. It means you saw something that was not working and chose to adjust instead of standing still. Some people will understand that. Some will not. Either way, movement matters more than approval.

Right now, I am figuring out how to pull myself out of this slump. How to regain momentum without pretending everything is fine. Near life ending experiences change you. They strip away illusions. When that happens, rebuilding yourself takes time.

This is where I am at.

Thanks for reading.

Stop Asking for Free Shit. It’s Ghetto.

So, since my sleep schedule is way the hell off after getting back from Ethiopia, I figured I might as well address something that has been bothering me for a while.

Why do some people think they are entitled to free shit?

Seriously, what does that do for me? How does giving my product away for free help my business? And do not say promotion, because if you buy it and wear it, you are promoting it just the same.

I get very annoyed when people ask me for free stuff. If your idea of support is asking me to give you something for nothing, then respectfully, I do not want your support. That might sound harsh as hell, but someone has to say it.

I have invested a lot of money into my business. Time. Energy. Meetings. Emails. Manufacturing. Planning. Stress. So when someone who has not purchased a single item asks for free product, I take that as disrespectful. People really think running a clothing brand is easy. Trust me, it is not. There is a lot that goes into this that nobody sees.

Can y'all at least wait until I hit a million first?
Alright, a million is wild, lets say 100k.

And no, that is not an invitation to start asking me for free shit when I hit 100k either. But damn, the begging needs to stop. That shit is ghetto. How am I supposed to grow when people are constantly asking me to give everything away?

That is not support. That is enabling. And I am not in the business of enabling.

So let me be clear. Stop with the guilt trips. Stop with the "I can promote this for you" angles. I see the game, and it irritates me every time.

I dealt with the same issue when I started photography. People wanted free shoots or wanted to pay me like I was the photoman. And when I say "photoman," what I really mean is cheap, undervalued, and not respected. I did not spend thousands of dollars on equipment for someone to offer me $ 75 to $ 150 for a shoot. If that is the budget, go to the photoman, not me.

I am not the photoman.
I am not the shoeman.
I am not the clothesman.

I am not that guy, and I refuse to let people treat me like that just because I did not take the same routes they did to get where I am.

Everybody has a hustle, but you are not about to hustle me.

You can pay for Buffs? You can buy a tee.
You can cop purple jeans? You can afford Double B's.

My shit is quality over here, and I stand on that. I do not run a cheap home setup, printing shirts in the basement. No disrespect at all to anyone getting it out of the mud that way, that is just not my route. I am big on quality.

I work with manufacturers. My products are made from scratch. Materials matter. Construction matters. Longevity matters. Because y'all are not about to pay 55 dollars for a tee just for the print to start peeling after a few washes. Fuck no. I will not put my name on that, and I will not sell anything I would not wear myself.

So when people ask why I do not just give shit away, this is why. Too much work. Too much intention. Too much pride goes into what I make.

For example, I am dropping tote bags next month, and I can already hear it now. The asking. The guilt tripping. Then, you know, we go way back.

If I give anything away, it will be to my paying customers as a thank you for their support. Not because we are family. Not because we have known each other forever. That kind of support is dead to me.

All I am asking for is respect. Respect for my business. Respect for my work. I built this shit, and I refuse to let anyone, friends or family, try to guilt-trip me into giving them something they do not want to pay for.

That is enabling behavior, and I do not fuck with it.

Anyway,

We have an event coming up on February 28th. Bold Basics The Reveal. I will have merch on hand, and the tote bags will be available for purchase.

Hope to see you there.
Details below.

15725 Grand River Ave., Detroit, MI
Saturday, Feb 28, from 1 pm to 4 pm EST
Get tickets here

Final Assessment Reflection on Information Technology and Computer Science

 As I reflect on this course, it's clear that my understanding of information technology (IT) and computer science has deepened significantly. Throughout the journey, I’ve gained a solid grasp of how computers have become fundamental to the modern world. Whether it's the integration of technology into various industries or the ever-growing demand for skilled professionals in fields such as cybersecurity and network administration, it’s evident that technology is at the core of nearly every career.

One of the key takeaways from this course is the critical role of hardware and software in enabling computing systems to function efficiently. Learning about the intricacies of CPUs, memory, storage, and operating systems has given me a better appreciation for how these components work together to perform essential tasks. The course also emphasized the importance of networking and the protocols that allow computers to communicate, which directly ties into my interest in cybersecurity.

A specific tech topic that caught my attention was network security. This concept connects seamlessly with the fundamentals of IT and computer science that we covered, particularly regarding protecting sensitive information and maintaining the integrity of systems. From discussions on securing networks through firewalls and encryption to understanding vulnerabilities like phishing and password cracking, this course made it clear how vital it is to stay vigilant and proactive in the face of cyber threats.

Looking ahead, I am excited to continue expanding on these foundational concepts. As technology evolves, so do the challenges and opportunities within the field. The knowledge I’ve gained here will serve as a crucial stepping stone in my pursuit of a career in cybersecurity, where the blend of technical skills and problem-solving will allow me to protect systems and data in an increasingly connected world.

As I review my peers' posts, I look forward to seeing how they’ve interpreted these concepts and applied them to their own experiences. This course has been a valuable experience, providing a solid foundation to build upon as I continue my education in information technology and computer science.

Week. 2 journal blog

 Today was an exciting and enjoyable day, filled with a mix of routine and special activities. Here's a breakdown of how my day unfolded:

Morning Routine:

I woke up at 7:30 AM and quickly got dressed. By 8:00 AM, I was out of the house, beating the downtown traffic to make it to work on time.

Work:

The morning was dedicated to my regular work tasks. I focused on resolving IT issues and providing support, ensuring everything ran smoothly at the office.

Lunch Break:

Around noon, I took a short break for lunch. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and took a moment to relax before heading back to work.

Afternoon Work:

The afternoon was productive as I wrapped up some projects and prepared for the upcoming week. It felt great to check off items from my to-do list.

Heading Home:

After finishing work, I made my way back home. The traffic wasn't too bad, so I arrived in good time.

Gaming Session:

Once home, I spent some time playing my favorite video games. It's always a great way to unwind after a busy day at work.

DJing Practice:

Later, I practiced DJing, experimenting with new mixes and beats. It's a creative outlet that I really enjoy and helps me relax.

Clothing Brand Work:

I also dedicated some time to working on my clothing brand. I reviewed some designs and brainstormed ideas for new collections.

Evening Out:

In the evening, my girlfriend and I decided to visit Six Flags. We had an amazing time exploring the park, riding roller coasters, and enjoying the attractions.

Reflection:

Spending the day with my girlfriend at Six Flags was awesome. It was a perfect mix of fun and adventure, and we both had a great time. The day ended on a high note, filled with laughter and joy.

Overall, today was a fantastic day. I managed to balance work, hobbies, and personal time effectively. Looking forward to more days like this!

The Child Support System: Evaluating Fairness and Its Impact on Men's Mental Health

 The child support system stands as a pillar of our society, designed with noble intentions to safeguard the well-being of children, ensuring that they receive the financial support they need. It's a system that many consider essential to promoting the best interests of the youngest members of our society. However, beneath the veneer of good intentions lies a complex landscape filled with challenges and nuances, especially when it comes to its perceived fairness, which, for many men, has become a subject of concern.

This essay delves into the multifaceted realm of the child support system, where we examine the perception of fairness and its potential consequences, particularly for the mental health of men who find themselves navigating this intricate terrain. While child support is undeniably crucial for securing the financial stability of children, it is equally imperative to evaluate whether the system is equitable for all parties involved. In doing so, we cannot ignore the growing body of evidence that suggests a troubling link between child support issues and the mental well-being of fathers who are striving to fulfill their responsibilities.

In the following pages, we will first provide an overview of the child support system, shedding light on its objectives and mechanisms. We will then explore the challenges faced by men who actively care for their children and find themselves entangled in the web of child support obligations. As we move forward, we will delve into the emotional and psychological toll that this system can take on men, discussing instances of depression, anxiety, and stress that often accompany their journeys.

Furthermore, we will examine the connection between child support issues and the alarming risk of suicidal ideation among men, emphasizing the need to address this critical concern. This essay will advocate for the inclusion of mental health support and resources within the child support system, aiming to assist both custodial and non-custodial parents, who often bear the weight of these obligations.

In a fair and compassionate society, the child support system must be administered in a manner that upholds the welfare of children while also recognizing the mental health and well-being of all individuals involved. Striking this balance is paramount, and as we conclude this exploration, we will underscore the need for reforms that foster a more equitable and supportive environment within the child support system.

As we embark on this journey, it becomes evident that the child support system, while undeniably important, is not without its challenges and potential pitfalls. It is our collective responsibility to ensure that this system aligns with our values of fairness and empathy, extending its care not only to the children it serves but also to the men who seek to fulfill their parental obligations, often in the face of overwhelming challenges.  

The child support system, rooted in the principle of providing financial support for children, plays a crucial role in ensuring their well-being. Established with noble intentions, it aims to guarantee that children receive the financial resources they need to thrive, even in situations where parents are separated or divorced. The system typically operates through court orders, ensuring that non-custodial parents contribute financially to the upbringing of their children.  The primary objective of the child support system is to secure the financial stability of children. This is achieved through various mechanisms, including court orders.  

 Family courts typically issue child support orders, outlining the financial obligations of non-custodial parents. These orders are legally binding and require regular payments.  Child support obligations are often determined based on the income of the non-custodial parent. Courts use formulas that take into account income, the number of children, and other relevant factors. Child support agencies are responsible for enforcing court-ordered child support payments. They have the authority to collect payments through various means, including wage garnishment and asset seizure.

While the system's objectives are clear and commendable, it is essential to examine how it functions in practice and whether it achieves its goals without causing undue burden or harm to any party involved.  The child support system, while designed to provide for children's well-being, often poses challenges and complexities for men who actively care for their children. These challenges can vary, but they frequently revolve around the following areas:

A. Custody and Visitation Arrangements - One of the initial challenges that many fathers face in the child support process pertains to custody and visitation arrangements. Disputes over custody can be emotionally charged, and visitation schedules can sometimes be contentious. Men who desire an active role in their children's lives may find themselves in lengthy legal battles to secure the custody arrangements they believe are in the best interest of their children.

B. Financial Burdens and Payment Obligations - The financial obligations imposed by child support orders can also be a source of significant strain for non-custodial fathers. These obligations often demand a substantial portion of their income, which can affect their ability to meet their own financial needs, such as housing, healthcare, and basic living expenses. For some, these obligations may lead to financial instability.

C. Communication and Dispute Resolution - Effective communication between co-parents is essential for smooth child support arrangements. However, strained relationships, misunderstandings, and disagreements can hinder communication. Disputes regarding child support payments or other matters can escalate, leading to further emotional distress for all parties involved.  

Navigating the intricate and often adversarial child support system can take a toll on men's mental health. The emotional and psychological burdens they face can be overwhelming, leading to various mental health challenges:

A. Depression - Men entangled in the child support system may experience feelings of hopelessness and despair. The financial strain and legal battles can contribute to symptoms of depression, affecting their overall well-being.

B. Anxiety - The uncertainty surrounding child support payments, custody arrangements, and ongoing disputes can lead to heightened anxiety. Men may constantly worry about meeting their financial obligations and maintaining their relationships with their children.

C. Stress - The chronic stress associated with child support issues can have far-reaching consequences. It can impact physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Stress-related health problems may further exacerbate the situation.  

One of the most alarming aspects of the impact of the child support system on men's mental health is the link to suicidal ideation. Research suggests that men facing overwhelming child support burdens may be at a heightened risk of experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide.  Studies, such as those conducted by mental health professionals and researchers, have highlighted a concerning correlation between child support issues and suicidal ideation among men. These studies often reveal that the stressors associated with child support disputes, financial strain, and feelings of helplessness can contribute to increased rates of suicidal thoughts.  Recognizing this connection is vital for addressing the issue effectively. It underscores the importance of providing mental health support and resources within the child support system to assist fathers who may be struggling with their mental well-being.  

One of the central issues within the child support system is the fairness of the financial burden placed on non-custodial parents, often fathers. Many argue that fathers should not have to give up 30% or more of their income, while the court does not hold mothers accountable for obtaining a job to contribute to child support. To address this concern and promote fairness, reforms are necessary.  Reforms should consider the income imbalance between custodial and non-custodial parents. Courts should assess each parent's financial situation and base child support obligations on their respective incomes, ensuring that the burden is proportionate and fair.  

To promote shared parental responsibility, reforms should also focus on encouraging both parents to contribute to child support. This could involve providing opportunities and incentives for non-custodial parents to actively participate in their children's lives and share financial responsibilities. A balanced approach must hold both parents accountable for employment and financial contributions when appropriate. This accountability should be applied without gender bias, recognizing that both mothers and fathers may have career responsibilities.  

While advocating for reforms and support services, it is essential to maintain a balanced approach to child support. The welfare of children remains a paramount concern, and the system must continue to fulfill its primary objective. However, achieving this goal should not come at the expense of the mental health and well-being of the parents, particularly fathers who are committed to fulfilling their parental obligations.  

Efforts to reform the child support system should aim to strike a balance between ensuring children's financial stability and considering the financial capacity and mental health of non-custodial parents. Equitable solutions must be pursued, considering the unique circumstances of each family. A balanced approach also entails a child-centered focus, where the best interests of the child are central. This includes promoting healthy relationships between children and both parents and ensuring that financial support serves the child's needs without causing undue hardship to the paying parent.  

In conclusion, the child support system plays an essential role in safeguarding the financial well-being of children in separated or divorced families. However, it is equally crucial to address the challenges faced by men within this system, as these challenges can have profound effects on their mental health. The emotional and psychological toll of navigating the child support system can result in depression, anxiety, and stress for many fathers. Furthermore, the concerning link between child support issues and an increased risk of suicidal ideation underscores the urgency of addressing this issue comprehensively. Reforms that prioritize mental health support services and promote mediation and conflict resolution can significantly alleviate the emotional distress faced by parents. 

Balancing the system to ensure fairness for all parties involved while maintaining a child-centered focus is essential for creating a more equitable and compassionate child support system.  In a society that values fairness, empathy, and the well-being of children, it is our collective responsibility to address the challenges posed by the child support system. By doing so, we can create an environment where responsible parents, including fathers, can fulfill their obligations without sacrificing their mental health or well-being.  It is time to move toward a child support system that truly serves the best interests of all involved, promoting financial stability for children while supporting the mental health and overall welfare of parents who strive to provide for their families.  As we strive for this balance, let us remember that it is not merely a matter of policy but a reflection of our values as a compassionate and fair society.

References

1. Lin, I-Fen. "Perceived Fairness and Compliance with Child Support Obligations." Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 62, No. 2, 2000, pp. 388-398.

2. Kim, Yoona, and Daniel R. Meyer. "Perceptions of Fair Treatment and Child Support." Institute for Research on Poverty, University of Wisconsin–Madison.

3. Rivlin, Ram. "Fairness in Allocations of Parental Responsibilities, and the Limits of Law." Cambridge University Press, Published online on June 5, 2020.